Matt and Aunt Jean Day 5, Disneyland

...and on the 5th day, there was Disneyland. Wonderful and perpetually climactic, Disneyland precludes any reasonable expectation as a fictitious escape for first-time visitors. Aunt Jean picked up three tickets for paradise and we entered the gate. The space that emerged rebranded a previous sense of cohesive detail into a fairytale amid mouse ears. Today would be awesome.

Matt in awe.

We decided to rename many of the historic attractions at Disneyland while grappling with their true cultural worth. Sure, many know the craggy centerpiece of FantasyLand's microverse as the Matterhorn Bobsleds, but to us we revered it as Death Mountain. Matt demonstrates the typical horror Death Mountain instills. Our mid-west sardonicism baptized much of the rest of the park with equally disturbing new names.

None other than the Flying Elephants of Doom. You must be 48 inches to ride.

Matt and I had honestly no clue about the hellish sickery that lingered behind the Small World walls. Incessant is too mild a word for the legions of fake children and their echoing mantra asserting planetary scope. To this day, Aunt Jean holds a power of unstoppable magnitude: the video she captured during the entire boat ride. We'll behave, Aunt Jean, we'll behave. We promise.

The Teacups where innocent enough. It couldn't be any worse than Small World's boat ride subverted from Disneyland via the Styx and though all of Dante's Inferno. I still shudder.

"Turn This Way To Go Faster," I read. What could that possibly mean?

Faster! Faster! In a blur we were spun to an entire new fantasy called Dizzyland where everyone wants to puke. Faster! Again!

For being a weekday, the lines were not terrible. Death Mountain took only 20 minutes to board.

Matt and Dear Aunt Jean before ascent.

This ride rocked. Not only was the track extremely well designed for the sleds with a good balance of view, dips, and shakes, but the puppet abominables were perfect. Thumbs up and hair back, Death Mountain kills (and that's a good thing).


The Star Tours ride wasn't great. We had to consult the map for more fun.

Having lunch in Tomorrowland was like eating yesterday's food at tomorrow's prices. Still, it kept us going through the Buzz Lightyear shooting experience.

The giant marble marble hovered on a water plane defying Physics as a governing source. Everyone around the marble ensured that the object in motion came to rest, and that the resting marble was then set to motion. Even thermodynamics didn't apply: on a hot day, the marble was pretty cool.

Wrightnour and Matt do Walt and Mickey. Aren't they cute, folks?

Adventureland by day. By night, the shore is swarming with beholders of the laser show spectacular.

The American Family Lees admiring the Swiss Family Robinson house.

Matt and I took to the trees. My second favorite attraction at the park was the Haunted Mansion, pictured left. The ghosts, there, are left, but not pictured.

The interior of Space Mountain actually does contain a large amount of space.

We had ice cream and pretzels in the shade while enjoying the afternoon parade.

Mother and son exhausted by mid-afternoon. We took the monorail back to the hotel.

The Matt in the hat.

Aunt Jean sizing up her shot. Hers was also a hole in one.

We had no idea Matt felt so strongly. It took us hours to pry him away. Mickey cried, too.

The hotel.

Walking back to the park for more rides and the fireworks. Nothing witty here -- just having a great time with family.

Oh goody! Matt was excited we went to the ESPN sports bar for dinner. He apparently likes sports.

Truth be told, we went home at the end of the day. I made the long spell back to San Diego and Aunt Jean and Matt continued up the coast after their hotel stay. I do enjoy when family visits on vacation... I get to tag along on holiday too!