April Graduates the College

I can't remember why I'm at a graduation ceremony for Kent State future alumni. Perhaps I'm as aimless as these unlucky many.

Oh! Right. April GRADUATED! After a stint at Ohio University and a stint-plus-plus at Kent, April earned her stripes in a blue dangly tassel. Good bye good years.

Some of the first digital pictures I ever snapped were of April's high school graduation. Now, she's all grown and gowned up.

Mom had a hard time calculating that she had actually graduated three children from nest to flight with degree. Yet, the big one is out west, the middle one not so west, and the youngest now down the graduation aisle. That's all of them. Way to go mom!

And so she descended from the mountain of knowledge with two tablets. One beheld the rules of the real world and the other the terms of her college loans. With a smile like that, you can tell that she hasn't read either.

April is tickled pink. Actually, she was tickled blue as the tassel repeatedly doubled as cheek warmer and incidental floss.

Mr. President was one of the first to congratulate her on her outstanding victory. The American people stood behind her, he said.

The Eternal President of North Korea was the second to phone April. We're not sure if he was congratulating her or spitting on her pride. April doesn't speak Korean, as you can tell from her expression. She sent him a nice thank-you card anyways.

Dad and Candice exchange the one-arm meet and greet.

Originally, this was going to be a comment about Dad in a suit as a rare event, but April seems to have stolen the shot by tangibly becoming lost in her tassel. We had to dig her out and throw a life saver.

Now I can comment on Dad's suit. Plus, he apparently picked the right shirt for April's graduation -- they're the same shade of blue!

We all were proud of her.

Graduation was FUN! Let's do it again. Come on everyone, 4 more years! 4 more years!

Some people throw rice or confetti at weddings. Someone threw covered pretzels all over the lawn. They were festive.

Eric was still awestruck and needed consoling.

Is that a... puffy purple shirt?

April practices her dumbfounded look. I think she just forgot everything that happened at school. 4 more years! 4 more years!

Oh wait. She remembered it all again. Nice picture time.

Hollywood Candice and her bodyguard slash dancer, Jon.

Check out Candice's ceremonial shoes. Those are some modeling ankles from the 1920's, alright. Yup.

Oh dear, she went possessed again.

Actually, Candice is one of the best multi-picture models I've had the pleasure to shoot. She can hit 30 poses in less than 10 seconds. The first 30 seconds of pictures were fun...

...but after almost a minute, she completely ran out of material. Here, she's pleading for the paparazzi to disperse, dismantle, and choke on spit.

Some of the softer shades in the black market are carried out at the Gray Mart. Need some vital organs in a hurry? They have fingernails. Willing to pay for a mail-order bride? They carry a wide assortment of mail-order disenchanted first dates who won't return your calls. Need firearms without a background check? They have military-grade slingshots from Gana bushmen -- and don't worry, the serial numbers have been wiped clean.

Five years in a university setting, and April still hasn't figured out how to use the door.

We used to eat here as kids. Now we eat here as big kids.

April had a small stain on her dress she later realized. She tried to gas us all with a single arm.

April and Eric. You best just mind your own.

So happy together... they can't see themselves lovin' nobody but them, for all their lives! When they're with themselves, baby, the skies'll be blue for all their lives! I guess it really does need to be sung in first person.

Mom still can't believe she's done graduating children...

...oh wait! She just got it! Yippee!

Who wouldn't hire that face? Luckily, she'll have time to work on it as she's in Indiana University of Pennsylvania's internship program for another year.

April's been schooled.

She did quite well in the university program if you look at her grades. However, I think she scored poor marks in anatomy -- particularly the anatomical restrictions against licking your own ears.

All teeth and grins.

It was time to do the happy dance. Bust a move like you've got a pair.

Notice her tassel is gone. No one knows what happened to it. It must have also received sufficient training, and was ready to move on to other things.

Back to more happy dance. April was about to dip Eric...

...when he performed a slip maneuver and counter-dipped. In an otherwise idle round, he won by technical achievements, 10-9.

LOOK what we found. I remember this from our grandparents' house. This clown is easily older than me. Older than most babysitters we had. It may even predate parents.

It was important to have family portraits with the entire family and heritage clowns.

We learned that Eric has a fear of clowns. The fun ensued.

April was ready to put her best face forward. This isn't bad for a best face.

Where are my pockets!?

Where is my facial hair!?

Candice calmed her down. All was well.

Horray for booby tassels!

Thankfully, we didn't have to carry April through five years of school as literally.

Everybody smile.

I think there was some miscommunication. All they had to do was watch the birdie. The birdie ended up dying. There was no use in pointing fingers.

All those smarts.

Knowledge is power; when our powers combine, we form MORE power, mild bickering, and occasional snorts of laughter. Weeeee.